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Human Rights  » How To Be Assertive Without Getting ANGRY

How To Be Assertive Without Getting ANGRY

No matter what type of business we are involved in, our success

is in part determined by how well we deal with people. We need

to present ourselves as confident, decisive and assertive.

LET'S NOT OVERDO IT

Sometimes, however, our efforts to show our assertiveness cross

the line. We end up coming across as rude, aggressive or

downright belligerent.

Let's clarify the major distinctions.

ASSERTIVENESS VS. AGGRESSIVENESS

In any situation where your rights or space are being violated,

there are generally three options available to you. You can:

1) Be submissive, say nothing, and fume in silence.

2) Be aggressive and hostile, which will probably just fuel the

fire.

3) Calmly and politely assert your interests.

Sometimes when we feel compelled to speak up, we can easily lose

sight of the fact that we just want to stop the offensive

behavior, period. We do not need to humiliate the other person,

nor do we need to humiliate ourselves by overreacting.

This person may not even be aware of any wrongdoing. In any

event, explosive, self-righteous behavior is never a good first

line of defense.

CONFIDENT PEOPLE HAVE NO NEED OR DESIRE TO BELITTLE OTHERs

Assertiveness does not seek to humiliate or purposely embarrass

anyone. The other party may well end up feeling a little

embarrassed, but it won't be laced with anger at you. It's

amazing how cooperative people can become when treated with

respect. And it is equally amazing how swiftly and surely they

will become uncooperative if they are being attacked in any way,

even with a subtle gesture or an exasperated tone of voice.

HUMANS ALWAYS RESPOND MORE FAVORABLY TO KINDNESS

There's an old saying, maybe a little corny, but it still holds

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true: "You can catch more flies with honey than you can with

vinegar."

This bit of common knowledge may not be as common as we think.

Next time a situation arises, remember that you can choose to

assert your interests calmly and politely without becoming angry

or abusive.

Your kindness will likely be returned, and even if it's not,

your own sense of personal mastery and self-esteem will rise a

notch.

You'll find such good feelings to be habit-forming. Now there's

a habit worth having.

About the author:

Rosella Aranda, editor and author, helps marketers escape

limiting beliefs and build confidence. Free mini-course.

http://www.SabotageThyselfNoMore.com/go/Aassert For kind

encouragement and solid motivation, climb aboard...

http://calling-all-entrepreneurs.com/go/t.cgi?AassertZ